This is a tough one...it's one of a few nightmares that we parents worry about.  It's completely out of our control, but nevertheless, we don't want to make things worse.

Trying to parent...but without being controlling...regarding a specific issue.

Here's the background and what happened:

Parent (Dad...that's me...40 years of age)

Son, Senior in HS age 18...Honors student, top 5% of his class.  Very independent but struggles with Parental Authority...but submit to other authority.

Relationship is okay with parents...but chooses to be a bit of a loner.

As Dad, I have allowed him to be independant, provided he continued to achieve academically...

Now a problem has happened.

At his job,  he got caught stealing and is now working with the Loss Prevention people to return the items and whatever else has to take place.  His cooperating and their is a chance that once the items are returned the only thing that will happen is him getting fired.

The $ amount of the goods stolen was valued at $3,800.00  If they choose, they could press charges and he could face jail time as an Adult...he could miss graduating, he could miss at his opportunity to go to college as well as numerous other consequences.

As his dad, I am highly disappointed,  I am angry...but I also feel that he is an adult and wants to be treated as an adult, thus the consequences from his company and potentially from the law are consequences of his own choosing.

This is seriously a challenging issue...He is truly a great person...but he has done a serious thing that virtually destroys anything that he has built up.

Is this simply a one time mistake in judgement...or is it a cry for help/attention?

How am I to respond?

Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated.  From young adults as well as parents who may have experienced something similar.

I just don't want him to screw up his life...but I also don't want to have a blind eye to his action and potential needs...

Thanks to fellow xangan for bringing the USS New York to my attention.

http://www.ussnewyork.com/

I was completely unaware that this project was going on, let alone that it is actually on the water.  

This is truly a great symbol from America!!!   In its own way, it has given me hope that this nation will continue to be the beacon of freedom throughout the world.

It is a reminder that we must stand up and fight to protect that freedom, regardless of where that enemy is coming from.

I too have taken that oath to protect and defend this nation from its enemies foreign and domestic.  Now as a civilian that oath remains true.

Keep in mind, the enemy who is responsible for the 9/11 stated publicly that we don't have the stomach to perservear through the war or the jihad.   That enemy is wrong!!!

May we all agree to put down our differences in rememberance of those who fell on 9/11 and may we all celebrate this symbol of freedom!!!  My we all enjoy the awesomeness and the power that flows through the USS New York!!!  It is not a ship made only of metal, but it has the spirit of America built into it.

I can envision a day, when that enemy is captured and the USS New York is the ship that carries him to face justice in America!!!